Berlin Photo Diary


Hi! I'm just back from a few perfect days in Berlin. so thought I'd just share a few snaps here from the city that holds my heart. This was my first ever solo holiday and I had the most amazing time experiencing this weird and wonderful city. I also loved meeting so many people, mostly brand new but also some old faces from back home too! I'm so thankful that I got to travel to this incredible city so last minute and for the hospitality that was shown to me. My heart is so full right now, even though truthfully I'm a little heartbroken to be home. I have really. really been itching to travel anywhere I can lately and this trip was exactly what I needed. It's funny how just a few days away can feel truly life-giving sometimes. This feeling begs the question: where next?

Monday Inspiration


Hi friends, I'm going to start sharing a playlist here every Monday because I am obsessed with making new ones on Spotify. I'm also going to share a little series of images that have inspired me lately, just because I still haven't grown out of my teen obsession with Tumblr. Hope you all have a great week x


Self Love Club


Some days I just can't be bothered. I'm lying on my bed and I've already missed a few days at the gym, but still, I can't be bothered. I've learned to be okay with this, to let myself just be instead of running myself down into the ground. I think we are all too hard on ourselves. We live in a world that is constantly telling us that we are too much or not enough. The concerns that seem to define femininity seem infinite to me sometimes. I get really desperately sad about the dumbest shit sometimes. Swearing, that's something I hardly ever do here, but that's what it is: shit. Like this double chin I have every time I laugh, no matter how much weight I lose it is always going to be there. My hair that always falls flat. My prominent nose (thanks Dad) or my terrible posture. Throw in harsh opinions that surface on social media from time to time (not often thankfully) and there are days I convince myself I am the most unattractive woman alive.  Jesus, this is without even starting on my personality. And this is all before I've even had my first cup of coffee. Recently I convinced myself that I had wrinkles all over my forehead, even though I still get asked for ID and most people can hardly believe I'm almost 26. Most days, I don't think like this or feel this way, but it happens. It also makes me sad because I know I'm not alone. We are all too hard on ourselves, I think. At my most insecure, I've been jealous of other women. This makes me feel awful, and unlike myself, because all women should be celebrated and that includes me. 

This realisation pulls me right back to my roots. I soon realise that these insecurities are simply playing to someone else's idea of what I should be. These ideas are hard to shake. They feel like poison. We're overly sexualised and broken apart physically. Emotionally. Intellectually. It's draining. It happens every day. It makes me mad and I'll complain and stomp my feet about it but I won't let it consume me. Indifference can feel liberating. Saying, I don't care what you think, well, that feels good to me. How other women look isn't any concern of mine and even my own appearance has no bearing on how I live my life. And that is what matters the most. Life is to be lived. It's not how we look that's going to define us, we won't care about that stuff in the end so why do we let it take up so much of our time right now? 

I feel like I've finally reached a stage in my life where I can say: I'm over it. We as women are too used to being shamed. I'm not genetically blessed when it comes to my figure, but I say, so what? I'll show it off anyway because I'm happy. I've never been in a situation where I've showed someone my body and they've responded with; "no thank you, can you put that away please?" If I ever feel that way when I look in the mirror, I like to remind myself of that fact because I should never want to say that to myself either. 

Sometimes people take issue with taking pride in your body, especially on social media. Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance, even attention seeking, but what I want to know is, why not love your body? It's the most rebellious stand you can take against the world that is constantly telling women they are not enough or they are too much.. My confidence still ebbs and flows and on the worst days it can dip very low. Thankfully, those days are less and less. Self acceptance is a life long process, it's an investment in yourself. It's exhausting, but something we simply cannot escape. 

As RuPaul would say. If you can't love yourself - how the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Photos by the dream that is Brinkley Rose Capriola x

Sweet Beginnings


Sweet friends, if you've been following me for a while, you'll probably know that I've never been one to shy away from sharing a personal story. I've written quite openly about my own hardships. Through sharing my own personal stories about my health: living with endometriosis/pcos, struggling with depression in the past, and also speaking candidly about heartbreak and grief; I have found a limitless amount of support online. 

I want to tell you all something I have been thinking about lately. This time of year always stirs up all sorts of feelings for me. It was five years ago this month when I started to become very sick, little did I know I would end up having to deal with reproductive health issues for this long after that. It's also around the same time of year I lost my mother. It's been nine now. Hard to believe that when it's typed out in front of me. I always take this time to reflect and it used to make me so sad thinking about how much time had passed so quickly. Also thinking about how sick I had been for so long. Thinking that way really got me down for the longest time, beyond grief for my mother and what felt like my good health forever, I just had a negative attitude. 

Anyway, skip to today and here I am, reflecting once again over the times gone by and I have to be honest and tell you that it really does feel good. I love this time of year. I mean I really love it. The sun makes me feel so good. I have such romantic notions about Summer, I just feel like anything could happen. 

Often people ask me how I have found joy in my pain, telling me that they have felt stuck and don't know how to see beyond their hardship. It can be so difficult to see through the darkness when you are right there in it, the feelings of loss can be all consuming. All I really know is that every single good thing within me, or that I might share with the world, anything you might read here that draws you to me, is a direct result and overflow of the pain and loss I have suffered.

Every. Good. Thing.

Joy and pain go hand in hand. So often we want all the good stuff but we never want to deal with any hardships. That's just the human condition. I am a very social person and I love to travel and stay active. I'm an artist and I will stay awake all night if I feel inspired. These things keep me sane. They make me feel alive. However, they also come at a very steep cost physically sometimes. I love these parts of my life more than I could ever express, but friends, it really does kick my ass sometimes. There are days I just can't get out of bed because I'm so exhausted. Or I'll throw up from the stress on my body. I try to cover it up. I hate complaining. There's something so powerful in acceptance. I've tried to escape pain through medicine, living my life bound to my bed, never working, never creating. Sleeping all the time because the rest felt so good. By trying to numb the pain this way, I also prevented every other beautiful thing in my life from happening. 

Joy and pain. These things are always connected. I don't talk about it much anymore but I think I've been having some pretty bad 'endo' flare ups lately and the pain has actually been worse now than it was when I was resting more... but my life is genuinely the sweetest it has ever been. You just can't have all the good stuff without accepting your share of hardships sometimes. 

Life, man. It is the most incredible thing. You just never, ever know what it's going to throw your way. So you might as well lean in. Do the extremely hard work it takes to accept the hardships and let them sit next to you, but do not let it consume you. You are not your pain. You are powerful and beautiful and beyond this there is even more incredible life waiting for you.

Thank you for snapping me on this cute stoop Brink x

Monday Inspiration


As part of a new feature here on A Stitch to Wear, I'm going to start sharing some Monday Inspiration. I'm a visual kind of lady, so it just makes sense to share more of that here. I'm also going to share a Spotify playlist every week so you can find me on there too!

A Letter To Love


Oh love, I'm still learning how to get it right. In a way, love has been the hardest part of my life so far. I'm talking family, friends, boyfriends, all of it. Romantic love in particular has been the most challenging for me. When I was younger, I really used to think that I was wise beyond my years, full of life experiences when I had barely even lived. I used to believe that I was cut out from the start to be the perfect woman for a deserving man, so you can see already that my entire romantic thinking was centred around my ego. The things that I could bring to a relationship seemed to be what mattered the most. I used to think that whatever I had to offer another person, myself plus my actions, was all I really needed to know about being in a relationship. Now that I'm a little older, I've come to realise that love is much more than this. I've finally come to realise that love is about true partnership. It's not just about investing in who you are right now, but who you hope you can become. I've only really had my heart broken once. It happened slowly and all at once, I was strangely fine and then became so deeply sad that I thought I would never feel okay again. The heartbreak was real, and after a couple of years I am finally seeing what I have truly learned from that experience. I sort of arrived at a crossroads, where I could decide to emotionally close myself off or continue to open myself up. Vulnerability is truly the most incredible gift I have allowed myself. It takes genuinely every part of who I am and it is exhausting. It is a life-long investment and requires me to be so honest with myself and others. It is hard to be vulnerable sometimes, but it has rewarded me again and again. Hiding away from my feelings, as much as I might have tried, did not equate letting go. Feeling angry made me bitter and that is not a shade I wear well. A temporary hardship couldn't be enough to justify staying sad forever. Instead of investing in sadness, I've chosen honesty and perseverance. I'm still so young and admitting that I don't have it all figured out is the only way I can learn. I'll tell you something I do know for sure though, putting my ego aside has given me so much room to grow. Life is very fleeting, so let yourself be loved and when it's possible, love as fully as you can.

A big thank you to Brinkley Capriola for this beautiful photoset, you are a dream.

A Perfect Pairing


Lately, it seems that denim has become more popular than ever and jeans in particular have made a huge comeback with various trends thrown in for good measure. It's impossible to shop the high street without coming across frayed hems, cropped flairs and embroidered detailing on classic styles. I love it. I would honestly, very happily, live in my jeans every single day if I could do so without them falling apart or, you know, if life didn't require me to wear other things from time to time. I bought this pair of Binx jeans from Topshop a year or so ago on a whim, but never really wore them. Then all of a sudden straight leg jeans with frayed hems were EVERYWHERE and now these are my favourite jeans in my wardrobe. It's almost like, the timing just wasn't right for us back then, but fate brought us together and now we're in a beautiful loving relationship. You know what I mean? Yes? Let me know if I'm the only person who falls in love with her clothes please and thank you.

Let me tell you why I love this style of jeans. They go with everything, look effortlessly stylish dressed up or down, and in my opinion I think they look good on everyone. That's all I really want when I make any kind of investment purchase and I love how these look with my Dr Martens AKA my go to shoes. So it's only natural that Docs and jeans are a perfect pairing.

Anyway, moving out from this outfit, I thought I would give you a little update on what I've been up to. I've been really busy lately with uni work and at the minute we are doing an Illustration project designing a book cover for To Kill A Mocking Bird as part of a competition for Penguin. It's literally a dream! I've been trying my best to make some positive lifestyle changes lately, so hopefully I'll be able to balance work/study/blogging a little better. I guess these things just take time.

I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned this here before, but one of my favourite things in the world is going to the cinema alone. I LOVE IT. I'm a massive film nerd anyway and love going with friends, but there's something I really enjoy about spending that time alone. Choosing whatever film I want, having a free seat for my coat, not having somebody speaking to me during the film... it's pure bliss to me. If I ever feel a bit stressed at uni or working at home, I just nip down to the local cinema and see whatever I can. As it's awards season, there are so many great films out at the minute, and I've been going so much. If you follow me on Instagram you will probably have noticed that I'm kind of a little obsessed with La La Land (I mean, who isn't?) and I've been to see it one, two, three, four times. Yup. If you haven't been to see it yet, please forget all the reasons why, close this page immediately and go! Go before it's too late! It's truly fantastic. One of the best films I've ever seen. Four times.

I really want to start talking more about films on here because they are such a big part of who I am and what I enjoy. So I thought I would just start by recommending something really great I had seen lately. Apart from La La Land (obvs) I think my two favourite films from recent months have to be Paterson and Manchester by the Sea.

Paterson is so beautiful. It's not often you get to see a film where each character has so much unassuming goodness. It's slow and it's simple but it's also so delicate and poetic. Honestly, I left feeling really genuinely inspired to write again and like I wanted to be a better person. If that's not reason enough to watch it then I don't know what is. Oh wait yes I do. ADAM DRIVER. Are there any words? I have all the time in the world for that man. Just. Magic.

The other film I wanted to talk about - Manchester by the Sea - has lots of buzz around it right now because it's nominated for a bunch of Oscars. To be honest, I wanted to see it for ages but I kept putting it off because I'd watched maybe one too many films about grief lately and I thought it would tip me over the edge. And tip me it did! Although I cried absolute rivers when I finally went to see it, by myself of course, I would easily watch it again.  It's about living a real life, one that has been irreparably turned upside down, questions that won't be answered, loose ends that probably can't ever be tied. The acting is incredible and I really love how it's paced. I think it's a masterpiece. Although, this is why awards season is so confusing to me, because I was really blown away by Casey Affleck acting in this film yet I also completely fell in love with Ryan Gosling in La La Land (like everyone else I'm sure) so it's so hard to figure out who should win "Best" in the same category when they are so different. How can they even be compared?

If haven't watched any of these yet, please do! If you love films that make you cry and question everything then these are the ones for you. As always I hope you enjoyed this post and do let me know what your perfect pairings are or if you've been to see anything great in the cinema lately. I'm going to see Moonlight later and I already can't wait to talk about it!

Jumper & Blouse - Marks & Spencer | Jeans - Topshop | Shoes - Dr Martens
Photography by Rachael

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