A Letter To Love


4/24/2017







Oh love, I'm still learning how to get it right. In a way, love has been the hardest part of my life so far. I'm talking family, friends, boyfriends, all of it. Romantic love in particular has been the most challenging for me. When I was younger, I really used to think I was wise beyond my years, full of life experiences when I had barely even lived. I used to believe that I was cut out from the start to be the perfect woman for a deserving man, so you can see already that my entire romantic thinking was centred around my ego. The things that I could bring to a relationship seemed to be what mattered the most. I used to think that whatever I had to offer another person, myself plus my actions, was all I really needed to know about being in a relationship. Now that I'm a little older, I've come to realise that love is much more than this. I've finally come to realise that love is about true partnership. It's not just about investing in who you are right now, but who you hope you can become. I've only really had my heart broken once. It happened slowly and all at once, I was strangely fine and then became so deeply sad that I thought I would never feel okay again. The heartbreak was real, and after a couple of years I am finally seeing what I have truly learned from that experience. I sort of arrived at a crossroads, where I could decide to emotionally close myself off or continue to open myself up. Vulnerability is truly the most incredible gift I have allowed myself. It takes genuinely every part of who I am and it is exhausting. It is a life-long investment and requires me to be so honest with myself and others. It is hard to be vulnerable sometimes, but it has rewarded me again and again. Hiding away from my feelings, as much as I might have tried, did not equate letting go. Feeling angry made me bitter and that is not a shade I wear well. A temporary hardship couldn't be enough to justify staying sad forever. Instead of investing in sadness, I've chosen honesty and perseverance. I'm still so young and admitting that I don't have it all figured out is the only way I can learn. I'll tell you something I do know for sure though, putting my ego aside has given me so much room to grow. Life is very fleeting, so let yourself be loved and when it's possible, love as fully as you can.

A big thank you to Brinkley Capriola for this beautiful photoset, you are a dream.

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